What’s Up With The Polish Money, Or, ”Is This Bread Home-Made?”

Something the first-time visitor to Poland might ask is, “What’s up with this Polish money?” Because after exchanging one’s pounds, euros or dollars at the local currency exchange, or kantor, as it’s known here in Poland, one receives paper money that, frankly, isn’t printed on the same kind of paper to which most westerners are accustomed.

Although an EU member since 2004, Poland has yet to adopt the euro as its official unit of currency. The present currency, the zloty, was redenominated in 1998, which required a new series of banknotes to be created. Publishing banknotes in Poland is the responsibility of the State Securities Printing House (PWPW SA) which uses Swiss technology and a printing press which apparently cost 25 million zloty in the late 1990s.

As a Canadian, I’ve often heard Americans refer to our own paper money as “funny money” or “Monopoly ™ Money” because of its multi-color denominations, in contrast to the USA’s uniform greenback color scheme used on all of its universally coveted currency. But I've never heard a complaint about the money's tactile quality.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old adage that something isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. However, in Poland, although the currency has a clearly defined value, it’s the paper itself that doesn’t seem worthy of being used for printing a banknote. It doesn’t seem designed for money intended for long-term circulation; it tends to rip and tear easily; and it can’t withstand a good washing and a spin cycle if you happen to leave a few notes in your jeans.

My impression is that Poles generally don’t like their currency and at the slightest sign of wear or defect, they will refuse to accept a given banknote, whether it be a small rip (don’t even think about mending it with scotch tape); a torn corner; or some graffiti or burn mark on a note. Case in point: a few weeks ago, I was the unlucky recipient of a somewhat worn 20zl note that also happened to have what appeared to be a small brown mark upon it, which looked like someone had held a lighter to it for a second or so, as if to make some kind of statement, whatever that might be.

Anyway, the proprietor at one of the local shops refused it, citing said damage, and was somewhat irate, as if I was trying to pull a fast one on him by attempting to pass this sub-standard zloty. Relating this story to a friend, he confirmed that he’d had similar experiences here with crappy paper money and that many merchants are wary of accepting any bill that appears “damaged”, lest their bank not accept it.

So, wherein lies the problem? With the people who pull such stunts and try to deface the money, or the quality of the banknotes themselves? Maybe it’s time for a new and improved zloty, printed on a better grade of paper that can endure a longer circulation period, and feels more like the paper upon which the currencies of other EU countries, both euro and non-euro using, is printed.

Welsh Does Warsaw, or Porno-rific!

Well, Tuesday was a great night to be in Warsaw. Irvine Welsh, author of cult favorites such as Trainspotting, The Acid House, Marabou Stork Nightmares, Filth and Glue, among others, was in town on the first leg of a four-day tour of Poland, co-sponsored by the British Council. Welsh’s novel Porno has recently been published in Polish.

After a rehearsal reading of his play You’ll Have Had Your Hole at the Rozmaitosci Theatre on Marszalkowska Street, Welsh did an extended Q&A session with audience members and discussed various aspects of his work, as well as offering some comments and opinions about the current state of the arts in Britain.

Perhaps the most quotable line of the night came when Welsh said “I learned more from failure than I ever did as a successful writer.”

The audience was diverse in terms of age, although the largest group clearly consisted of students and 20-somethings. Based on the enthusiastic response he received, it’s clear that Welsh has as strong and devoted a following in Poland as he does in the other countries where his work has been published.

Hope you enjoy the pics.

What's Up With All The Guns, or Warsaw: Gangsta City

Something the uninitiated western visitor to Warsaw might ask, after spending a bit of time touring around the city, is “What’s up with all the guns?” Within a couple of days of arriving, I noticed that in front of several government buildings, there are police stationed 24/7 carrying automatic weapons, as if they anticipated an imminent insurrection of some kind. Is Warsaw under martial law, one might think. No, that’s just the way things are here. Call it a carry-over from the communist period or whatever, but in Poland, public security is serious business.

I’ve visited many major capitals around the world, including Washington, D.C., but I must say, I’ve never seen such a strongly armed, at-the-ready police presence as I have in Warsaw.

If you want to check it out for yourself, talk a walk along Al. Ujazdowskie in central Warsaw, where a lot of embassies are located, including those of Britain, the U.S., and Switzerland. In addition to their own security personnel, you’ll see police standing outside the gates on the street with their automatic weapons of choice.

First, let me say that I’ve never owned a gun, nor have I even fired a weapon in my life. And although I appreciate the need to preserve the peace, I know that this sort of thing would generate a huge public outcry if it was implemented on the streets of any Canadian, American or western European city.

That being said, I was nonetheless curious to find out what kind of gun it was I’d seen. After inquiring to a couple of Polish friends, I found out that the weapon of choice I’d described is the pistolet maszynowy wz.63 (or, PM-63), also known as a RAK, short for Reczny Automat Komandosow (hand-held automatic commando weapon) invented in 1963 by a famous Polish gun designer named Peter Wilniewczyc. According to http://www.wikipedia.com/: “The wz. 63 RAK is a Polish submachine gun. It is a personal weapon intended for combat and self-defence at ranges up to 150 m with single shot or fully automatic fire mode. It is designed for the armament of heavy combat equipment crews… special anti-terrorist and police troops.”

According to the stats I saw, this weapon is capable of firing 650 rounds per minute! That’s right— 650 rounds per minute.

So next time you’re cruising around Warsaw and see some police officers in front of a building sporting their RAKs, remember to be polite, and above all, don’t do anything to startle them. And if you see a female police officer, don’t even think about saying “Hey, nice RAK you’ve got there.”

For further information, check out the following wikipedia link at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PM-63_Rak

Thanks to www.wikipedia.com for allowing the reproduction of the image featured above.

The Palace of Culture, or "Stalin's Rocket"

Here's a few pics of Warsaw's Palace of Culture. Completed in 1956, it was a "gift" from the Soviet Union to their Polish comrades, and up until recently was the tallest building in the city. In fact, around the time it was built, a law was passed stipulating that no taller structure could be built. This year the palace celebrates its 50th anniversary, and even if you don't know a thing about architecture, you have to admit, this is a pretty neat looking building.

Welcome to Poland: Banking Made Simple

But of course, Warsaw isn’t all fun and games. Sometimes the simplest of transactions here involve a great deal of red tape that make a westerner’s mind boggle. Case in point: a couple of weeks ago I went to a major bank in downtown Warsaw to purchase a money order, which one would think would be a fairly straightforward transaction. Well, think again. Basically, here’s the trajectory of the fiscal folly that ensued.

First of all, I had to fill out this form (in Polish of course) indicating the name of the payee, my name, and of course, the amount. I had to present the form, along with my passport, to a teller at a specially designated counter within the bank. After the teller reviewed the completed form, I was given a print-out which I had to present to another teller, to whom I paid the amount (U.S. dollars for the money order, and the money order fee in Polish szloty). Once this was done, I was given another print-out, a receipt, which indicated that I had paid the required fees. I now had to go back to the first teller I’d dealt with, and present this form showing I’d paid. Now I was told that the money order would be ready in a couple of hours and that I should return at a certain time (4pm in my case) to pick it up, as someone in authority had to review and authorize the issuing of said money order. I was given another piece of paper that I would have to present, along with my passport or other acceptable form of identification, in order to pick up my money order once it was ready.

Well, I returned the next morning just after 9am, opening time, and collected my money order and went straight to the post office in order to mail it. But first I had to take a number, even though there wasn’t anyone in line at the post office. Welcome to Poland.

Say it in Polish

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine gave me a Polish phrase book entitled “Say it in Polish”, published by the American publisher Dover Books in 1955 that belonged to her mother. It’s a great little book, itself a vestige of the Cold War, when the only westerners who traveled to Poland were probably either true bohemians, duped package tourists, or spies.

Anyway, it’s got just about everything you need in terms of practical phrases and comes complete with a pronunciation guide, designed for American pronunciation, so even the typical mid-Atlantic or mid-Western native can intone this Slavic language sufficiently to be understood in just about any situation.

It somehow seems fitting that my first Polish phrase book should be itself an antique of sorts, as I discover this oh so historical city. Fortunately, the language hasn’t changed much in the past half century, and the clerk at the shop down the street tonight seemed to understand me perfectly when I asked in Polish for five large bottles of Lech beer. Indeed, she didn’t look the least bit confused after I delivered the sentence, which I’d practiced several times on the way home. She even asked me if I’d like my beer double-bagged. That’s the first time that’s happened to me yet in Poland. I guess I must be doing something right.

Warsaw is a Beautiful City

“Warsaw is a beautiful city.” Polanski was right. But to see the expressions on the faces of most Warsawites on the buses and trams, it seems that beauty is lost on them. They have other things on their minds, like trying to make a living, where the average Pole takes home about 1500zl (approximately $US 500) per month.

The magnificence of the Palace of Culture doesn’t pay the rent, however breathtaking and exotic it may seem to the western visitor. It was a “gift” from Stalin to the people of Warsaw, completed in 1956, and was the tallest building in the city throughout the communist period. Indeed, there was a law that stipulated that no building in the city could be higher.

Warsaw is an interesting city visually, a combination of the very old and the very new. I'd describe it as a city that is physically, politically and indeed, psychologically, between the not-yet and the no-longer. On the one hand you've got all these vestiges of the communist period in terms of architecture and infrastructure, and then the new presence of billboards, western consumerism and these goods that few people can afford; everything from designer clothes to cars and appliances.

It’s been fifteen years since the collapse of the communist system here, and this country where the Warsaw Pact was signed is now both a NATO and EU member; and yet, the past seems to continue to permeate so many aspects of daily life for its people— its landscape mired somewhere between an irrecoverable past and an uncertain future.